The Ballad Of Buster Baxter

Art Garfunkel lends his voice to the guitar-strumming moose minstrel who sings "The Ballad of Buster Baxter" - the story of how Buster feels when he comes home to Elwood City after a whole summer away with his Dad. It seems to Buster that his friends changed while he was gone and they've forgotten all about him. Will he ever fit in again?

Art "Moose Minstrel" Garfunkel is right here with his acoustic guitar to help tell us all about the events that followed Buster's arrival: It seemed like everything was going okay... Arthur still liked checkers, but things were not to go so smoothly from here on...

(Art's mooching about Arthur's bedroom singing a folk tune, not dissimilar to "Wasn't Born to Follow" by The Byrds... It's accompanied by images of the Buster cake, Buster as a baby, the day he met Arthur at the sandpit, their friendship, being driven off by his Mom with Arthur waving goodbye, and Buster's journey around the world.)

Art:

"This is the story 'bout the face on a cake,
It belongs to... Buster Baxter!
Baby-boy bunny-Buster-Baxter was born 8 years ago,
At first all he did was cry and eat -- and eat, and eat, and grow!
Eat and groooow!
(spoken) That's all he did...

He met Arthur -- they became friends,
(spoken) It was an historic day...
They always had lots of fun; they-liked-to-read-and-play, Hey!
Then one day Buster found out he was gonna go,
Gon-na go... bye - bye,
He went-around the world... a cou - ple of times,
We thought - he'd - left - the - show!
Bus-ter Baxter; went-away then he came back,
this is... what he founnnnd."

Art is sitting in the co-pilot's seat of a plane, while Buster's seated a little further back looking down on Elwood as he arrives...

Buster: It looks just like I never left!

Episode begins -- Buster's enjoying the cake Arthur's Dad made in honour of him...

Buster: Mmm, great cake! I'm the only kid I know who got to eat his own face.

Arthur: That's exactly what I said.

Buster: Ahhh -- it sure feels good to be back.... I was afraid things would have changed around here while I was gone.

Unfortunately for Buster, they have. Enter The Brain...

Brain: Hey Buster -- glad you're back! I brought the scoreboard, Arthur...

Buster: Huh?

Arthur: While you were gone, we started a checker championship - best of 5000 games, so far it's a tie...

Brain: We're scheduled to finish today.

Arthur: Oh, I forgot...

Buster: Go ahead -- I'll watch. There's only... (looks at scoreboard) 70 games left?

Arthur: But you just came home? There must be a way we can all play...

Art:

"Arthur-didn't-wanna-leave-Buster-out,
Of that he can be proud!
But when you play at checkers...
(spoken) Three's a crowd..."

Arthur: (to Buster) You can't move that black piece... That's MY black piece.

Buster: No, it's my black piece...

Arthur: No: That one is mine, and that one is yours... You're jumping your own piece with my piece. It's easy: Brain is red and his pieces go this way; I'm black and I go that way. Buster, you have some red pieces and some black, a penny, a stamp, and the Monopoly shoe, and you go across the board that way...

Brain: Wait - that's.... Ooh, my brain hurts.

Buster: Maybe I should just watch...

Arthur: Thanks Buster -- it's only because this is for the championship.

Buster: It's okay, it's just nice to be back with my friends again...

Brain: What d'you say? (he seems to have forgotten about Buster's presence)

* * *

The next day...

Art:

"This is the next day,
That's all I have to say - Hey!"

(very nice Art... thanks -- now can we please get back to the story? -- Ben)

Buster's come round to Arthur's treehouse. (He gives Art a quizzical look as he's singing about it being the next day.)

Buster: Hey Arthur -- Wanna come over and see my travel slides? (he climbs up) Oh... Hi Brain. What are you guys doing?

Brain: Writing a thrilling adventure book.

Buster: (to Arthur) Like our book...?

(This is of course, a reference to the book that was left unfinished by Buster and Arthur when Buster left )

Arthur: (not wishing to get himself in a fix) Sort of the same book... but not EXACTLY like our book.

Buster: (now reading the book) You and The Brain are writing OUR book?

Fantasy sequence -- Arthur has just been rescued by The Brain in a "Robin Hood" style scenario, both are making their escape on horseback...

Arthur: We're a perfect team, Friar Brain!

Brain: I was able to rescue you using a simple mathematical formula...

(he has it written down on parchment - it's far from simple -- Ben)
(Well, a little complicated for 8 year olds -- Dave the 3rd Year Civil Engineering Student :) )

Allow me to explain: This is a right-angle triangle, therefore the angle of inclination and velocity of the rescue rope's swing were easy to determine.

Binky: (as one of the bad guys) I'll get you yet!

Arthur & Brain: Ha, ha, ha!

Exit fantasy sequence...

Buster: You changed everything...

Brain: Because some of your situations were a tad unbelievable.

Buster: But it was exciting!

Brain: Now it's logical AND exciting...

Arthur: Buster, you weren't around -- you can help now... We'll all do it!

Buster: I'll do a scene where pirates ride an Apatosaurus to town and crush buildings! (we see an image of Buster's idea...)

Brain: Um... No, dinosaurs and pirates never co-existed.

Arthur: Now they ride horses.

Buster: Horses don't crush buildings!

Brain: They can crush flowers...?

(We see an image of some pirates cackling after their horse had just crushed a flower...)

Art:

"Bus-ter Baxter; went away and he came back,
He was starting to feel like things had changed..."

Buster is standing outside the Loring cinema with his Mom, eyeing the latest movies:

• "Carpet of Doom!"
• "Kresblain: The Merry Magician - Part 5"

Buster: "Carpet of Doom"! Wow -- I wanna see that, I'll call Arthur...

Just then, his friends emerge from the cinema.

Francine: Hey, it's Buster!

Buster: You guys went to see "Carpet of Doom" without me?

Muffy: We didn't go to...

Arthur: (steps in front of Muffy) We forgot to call you... sorry.

Muffy: I was about to say: We didn't go to "Carpet of Doom".

Buster: (laughs) Come on -- I know Arthur wouldn't go to a "Kresblain: The Merry Magician" movie...

Buster: (Arthur's looking uncomfortable) You always said you hated "Kresblain"?!? He's so... bleah!

Arthur: I used to, kind of, not... like... "Kresblain", but Francine loaned me all the tapes... and I caught Kresbla-mania.

Arthur lifts his sweater to reveal a "Kresblain" T-shirt.

Art:

"Kresbla-mania,
It's insane-ia!
How could Arthur catch Kresbla-mania...?"

Bitzi Baxter: (to Buster) We have to go, honey.

Buster: Bye...

Art:

"Kresbla-mania,
It's insane-ia!
How could Buster not catch Kresbla-mania...?"

(Shut-up Art. -- Ben)

Muffy: Did you hear that? He thinks he's SO ABOVE "Kresblain".

Francine: I think going away turned Buster into an S-N-O-B...

Arthur: No -- you don't think that... No! Really?

Muffy: He thinks he's better than us because HE went to other countries, where they eat snails and stuff...

We're now in the school cafeteria; everyone's sat down... and Buster's about to join them.

Binky: Who wants to trade for a peanut butter and... um... more peanut butter? (to Buster) You wouldn't like it -- no snails...

Art:

"Life... can be tough as nails,
When your friends think you're a guy... who likes to eat snails."

The next scene shows the class practising square-dance in the school gym... with Art accompanying them on his guitar. (Everyone learned how to do this while Buster was away, thanks to Mrs. O'Grady

Art:

"The kids forgot they learned to dance,
When Buster wasn't around,
But, boy! Did Buster know it...
He couldn't dosey-do it.

(Buster messes up... knocking Prunella over.)

He decided to get out before he knocked everybody down...

(Art starts calling the dance)

Change partners!
Promenade!
Quack like a duck!

Muffy: (upon Buster's departure) Look -- he thinks he's too good for square-dancing too...

Buster's now alone in the supermarket; he passes an end-unit, and picks up a bag of cookies with his friends' faces on the front... (this is another reference to one of the stories that happened while Buster was away)

Art:

"Buster was feeling more left out,
With every passing day,
Even when he found something cool..."

Arthur's on the tyre swings in the park, Buster comes up to him holding a key...

Buster: Arthur -- I found a weird key! Maybe it's the key to the City... or a sportscar? When we find out we can split it 50/50...

Arthur: That belongs to Mr. Morris, you'd better put it back.

Art:

"Someone else had found it first,
When he was away-ay..."

(for those that don't know, this is an amusing reference to another episode Buster was absent from... Ben)

(It also shows that at times Arthur and Buster think EXACTLY the same thing)

It's the end of school...

Francine: "Kresblain" meeting at Muffy's house -- don't be late!

Arthur: (to Buster) You wanna come to the "Kresblain" club...?

Buster: No thanks... (makes a face) Go ahead.

Arthur: Well... see ya.

Muffy passes Buster with her nose in the air, proudly sporting a "Kresblain" sweater.

Later, Buster meets up to shoot some hoops with Sue Ellen, a fellow traveller... (an interesting sequence, as these are two characters you wouldn't usually find together.)

Sue Ellen: When my family used to travel a lot, I always felt out of place when I came home...

Buster: Yeah? That's exactly how I feel.

Sue Ellen: Kids think you're weird if you accidentally use French words, like "c'est la vie".

Buster: I was only in France a week....

Sue Ellen: A week? I was only there a day -- you must be an expert!

Buster: I didn't learn many words, and I didn't eat any snails... but I watched TV.

(We see Buster in a French hotel room watching TV - it's Bionic Bunny, in French... ("Lapin Bionique"))

Buster: There are the same shows, but in French! You know how Bionic Bunny always says...

Sue Ellen: I don't know much about TV.

Buster: Oh... You wanna play checkers?

Sue Ellen: I don't like checkers -- see ya!

Meanwhile, back at the "Kresblain" club... Arthur's got his mind on other things.

(Art's here too; he's eating a cookie, and sitting around on one of the sofas with his guitar, like he's now part of the gang or something...?)

Arthur: I wish Buster were here...

Francine: Why? The things we do aren't exciting enough for him -- he's changed...

Brain: He didn't even wanna write a book with me and Arthur...

Muffy: Because it had no snails in it. Face it -- we have nothing in common with Buster any more.

Arthur: Maybe we do -- we're still his friends... If he likes new stuff, maybe we'd like it too?

Muffy: I never thought of that... (why does this not surprise us? -- Ben)

Arthur: Why don't we throw a party and watch his travel slides? Then we'll see what he saw, and at least we'll have that in common...

Everybody: Yeah!

At Arthur's house, the gang start putting together the "Welcome Back, Buster!" party...

Muffy: Wow!

Francine: (dancing to some cheesey music) Great idea Arthur -- this is fun!

Arthur: Didn't you notice, Francine?

Francine: Didn't I notice what?

Arthur: Buster isn't here!

Binky: (looks under the sofa -- Pal's sleeping there) Nope.

Muffy: Well -- that's it, he obviously doesn't wanna be our friend anymore...

Brain: She must be right -- why else wouldn't he want to come to the party?

Meanwhile, Buster's quietly sitting at home in front of the TV... alone.

Art: (upbeat)

"He's a sad sad bunny!
A sad sad bunny!
TV isn't funny -- when you're a sad sad bunny...
Yeeehaaa!!"

Buster: Hey! (Art stops) That's not very sad music!

Art: (slower, plucking a mournful chord)

"He's a sad sad bunny...
...a sad sad sad sad...
Bunny..."

Buster sighs.

Back at the party...

Arthur: I can't believe he didn't come.

Muffy: What did he say when you invited him?

Arthur: I didn't invite him -- Francine invited him...

Francine: I didn't invite him -- Muffy invited him...

Muffy: I thought Brain invited him...

Brain: (stops the party music) Weighing the facts using elementary deduction, I conclude that NO ONE invited Buster to this party...

Binky: (stating the obvious) You think that's why he's not here?

So, the entire gang all turn up at Buster's to finally invite him to his own "Welcome Back!" party...

Art:

"Bus-ter Baxter and his friends got a brand-new-start,
It was just like they'd nev-er... been apart."

Buster shows the gang his travel slides... one of them is of Buster and a penguin -- it's been taken upside down... as if he's standing on the South Pole.

Arthur: (laughs)

Francine: That looks so cool!

Arthur: Buster, pass the popcorn...

Buster: (with mouth full) I thought it was for me?

Francine: You ate ALL that popcorn?

Buster: I'm glad we're having fun again... I was starting to think aliens had replaced you all with cyborg twins programmed to make me miserable.

Everybody: He's the same old Buster! (laughs all round)

We zoom out of Arthur's living room window: Art's outside now, nearing the end of his ballad...

Art:

"That's how it happened - you can see,
To Buster and the kids in El - wood Ci - ty,
Now they know when you're-close friends,
You can al - ways - get - back... together again."

Buster: So how long has the singing guy been around?

Arthur: What? I thought he came here with you?!

Art:

"Bus-ter Baxter; went away then he came back,
Bus-ter Baxter; wund-d'num dum-dum-dummm, Dum m'num dum-dum-dummm..."

Art is now beating a hasty retreat from the Read residence... :)

Buster: (looking out the window) That was weird...

Arthur: Yeah!

Art:

"Bus-ter Baxter...
Bus-ter Baxter..."

Arthur: Mom! -- There's a singing moose in front of the house...

THE END